This is how you show your co-workers you love them on their birthday. (at Quicken Loans) High-res

This is how you show your co-workers you love them on their birthday. (at Quicken Loans)

These are three images just sent to me in an annoyingly long email chain with this as the message:

"These employees were Democrats that voted for Obama. Not surprising."

Just a few questions.

1. If the product was made in China, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the label also was printed in China, by Chinese citizens who are unable to vote in American elections?

2. I might be wrong on this one, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but, isn’t that a phone booth from the UK? Also, used by non-American citizens with no ability to vote in American elections.

3. When the fuck did Democrats who vote for Obama start shopping at Wal-Mart!?

One thing I do know about Obama voting democrats. They would pass on sending annoying politically themed chain emails to their entire address book potentially offending their republican friends, and choose to just post that shit to Tumblr instead.

Greatest Show Ever

If you guys are not watching the new Dallas series on TNT you need to go here and start watching immediately. The scene above is possibly the greatest scene ever broadcast on television EVER.

This scene contains Judith Light playing a very old woman, who’s name is also Judith, who is making a power play to take her shipping company back from her son (the bald dude in the background).

Judith’s son made a deal with the Mexican drug cartel to use his company’s resources to transport illegal, hardcore drugs from Mexico into Texas. Judith was upset that she was not involved with the deal, and had her son take her to meet the Mexican drug lord.

Judith, as a bargaining chip, uses her voluptuous 80 year old body (which by the way, is propped up by a HUGE Walmart pharmacy walking cane) to seal the deal and get exactly what she wants.

After Judith pwn’s the mastermind, and changes the terms of the deal, she demands to try the “product”. She proceeds to take two lines of cocaine down as if she was just inhaling baking soda! After she snorts the coke, she leans her head back and exclaims “Mama likes…”

Guys, this scene completely blew my dick off. I am now a Ken doll because of this scene.

Go. Watch. This. Now.

Poison Buns

Although, this has been a story for a few days, I just heard about this right now watching ABC World News.

Subway (and apparently every most fast food restaurants) uses a chemical called azodicarbonamide to make their buns feel softer and more “rubbery”. This chemical is the same chemical used in… wait of it… yoga mats.

The report went on to say that this chemical is banned in Europe. It is obviously not banned in the US.

Let me try to understand this. In the US, we ban medications that can immensely help a lot of people, while the EU allows these medications — at the same time the US approves chemicals that are most likely killing us faster for general consumption, while the EU bans those same chemicals.

Keep it classy America.